Monday, July 30, 2018

Permanent Results

Has My Personal Programming Produced Permanent Results?

Way back when I started this blog, it was supposed to be about my own personal masculinization journey through hypnosis.  Over time it has morphed into a venue for me to share my life as a hypnotist and my trances, but since I notice that we are coming up on 4 years since I got back into hypnosis by trying EMG's famous Curse: Porn Star Penis which led me to write Manhood Blessing and start this whole journey. I thought I might systematically go through my programming and see what results I had.   And oh what a spectacular journey it's been! I went from a versatile bottom who an oxford shirt and corduroy pants kind of guy to a long-haired, bearded biker metalhead who is a Total Top and Dominant Hypnotist.  It looks like I got Manhood Blessing's promise of becoming a "masculine, dominant alpha male" in spades.

Demonstration of my Alpha Male attitude... 

Present Hypnotic Context

 I thought now might be a good time to assess my hypnotic progress because, unusually for me, I have just gone over 3 months without a single trance to any of my files... Long about the end of April 2018, my (now former) husband Steve started having mental health problems that centered around delusions of external mind control, so I stopped sleep trancing because it was triggering him.  After 6 weeks of mental health drama my then husband offered me a divorce and I took it.  (click link for more info) Had a beautiful last anniversary on June 9th, and moved to Pacifica, CA two days later.  I have been waiting to stabilize in my current context before I resume hypnosis, so this is one of the few times since I started back to hypnosis that I have been able to assess my programming in the absence of continuing reinforcement. Short story is that after 3+ years of sleep trancing to my files the effects of most files have become completely permanent.

In particular, moving in with an avid fisting bottom has made Fist Top Trainer come to life like never before, with me fisting on a daily basis and fully enjoying the experience of having my hands in several different guys night before last when I fisted 7x at the Friendly Fire fisting party.  My roommate has done the equivalent bottom file, Anal Fisting Trainer, and has gone from being able to take it to the wrist to being close to getting my whole hand through his innermost sphincter.

Multiple Personality Update

Perhaps the easiest update is on my multiple personalities.  The new social context has been surprisingly non-disruptive with everyone still present and accounted for.  My hypnotist alter has been whining about us not making trances because the computer we work on is not set up yet, but has gotten to do live hypnosis 3 different times on both our new roommate as well as straitjacket brainwashing Beast's acolyte.

Wanna get brainwashed like this? Hit me up on my Tumblr chat
Likewise my Programmable Robot is still at my service, and has been getting more out time than usual given the huge amounts of housework to be done in the new context of living with a roommate who is away a lot.  

My demon alter Beast, who is a natural alter that I have had since I was 16 years old, but on whom the demons in Your Inner Demon / Low Life and related files is based has been unusually active lately since we are now in a social context where our current partner is open devil worship is permitted. The  files have produced a large contingent of demonic followers and Beast is pleased to have brought over 200 men to Satan through our files and we have more than 2 dozen active acolytes who we stay in contact with on a regular basis, one of whom submitted a script about getting Fucked By Satan that was so good we recorded it.

Beast actually got to do worship and blasphemy in person recently including stomping on a crucifix and cumming on the dismembered Jesus after ass fucking the acolyte pictured above for over two hours.  Besides Butch, Beast is the most active alter in the system and prays and practices satanisim on a pretty much daily basis.

Butch, my Manly Spirit alter is still with me and totally OK.  In fact, in the new context of living somewhere with a gym within walking distance the combination of Manly Spirit and Weightlifting and Stretching Compulsion has made it such that Butch basically lives in the gym.  He comes out to talk and fuck on a regular basis and is basically the same guy he's been since we started and has had great fun being the man about the house fixing things and putting furniture together.  

Workout Progress

Even after 3 months of no reinforcement, Weightlifting and Stretching Compulsion still sends me to the gym daily.
Though we have stopped doing the little white pill ritual, our testosterone levels have remained high ever since we started on Hypnotic Steroids, though it's kinda hard to tell if the effects are from that or the independent testosterone producing suggestions in Manhood Blessing, Weightlifting, and Jockstrap Penis Growth.  The compulsion to stretch and lift weights is still going strong, sending us to the gym on a 5-6 day a week schedule and making us stretch 3x/day as designed.  

Overall, the progress on our body over the last 4 years has been nothing short of amazing.  We started the period in question at a tweaker-skinny 133lbs, which has slowly gained up to 150lbs of solid muscle with practically no body fat.  Waist has stayed at 30" while our arms grew from 18" with no biceps to speak of all the way to a 21" flex with a large bicep and visible triceps even when we're not actively flexing.

Initial lifting weight (way back in December of 2014) was a pathetic 12lbs; we were lifting 38.5lbs at home in Tahoe before we left but Butch has made considerable progress at our new gym we are lifting 45lbs per hand and 80-90lbs on bilateral exercises like the bench press and squat. We sport 6-pack bordering on 8-pack abs now and have consistently kept them despite a terrible diet of mostly fast food and frozen stuff since we moved to a place in Pacifica with a non-cooking roommate and no working stove.

What about Masculine Conditioning?

The long term effects of Masculine Conditioning on me have been truly remarkable. I ran across my old photo album and finally saw the guy I used to be, a long haired geeky femme boi in purple Oxford shirts and corduroy pants. For the last couple of years since I wrote it, I have completely and totally transformed into a biker metal head dominant without even noticing the change much as it was going on. Which is exactly how Masculine Conditioning was designed to work. 
The nudges are so tiny in the moment that you barely even notice it. I grew a beard without intending to after MC-6, I got sick for a week and simply failed to shave, and when I shaved it out, I just found myself leaving the goatee and moustache. I clicked on the show that looked interesting and found myself watching Sons of Anarchy and it turned out to be really good all the way through. And when my beard grew in it was blonde, just like Charlie Hunnam's... The effects of MC-2: Manly Media Bubble shape my choice of music and TV programming to this day leading me to prefer heavy metal over my previous diet of John Mayer and Counting Crows.
Subtle effects of MC-3: Peer Pressure Masculinity are sometimes detectable in my program, such as finding the AA message of a scruffy guy who manspreads in the meeting to be unusually compelling or noticing myself mirroring his gestures MC-5 style, or Butch seeing a guy with an unusually masculine gender expression in the gym and then deciding to copy the exercises he's doing not because of his exercise form 

Typical MC-7 closet: organized by the subconscious with the most manly clothes at the most convenient locations.
And putting my stuff away in a new closet, I noticed that my subconscious mind automatically sorted the clothing by manliness and put the most manly stuff at the left and right hand spots.... which is exactly the behavior specified in the text of MC-7: Dress. A file I never explicitly tranced to, that was completed over 2 years ago! I am *awed* by the power and effectiveness of the system that fairly advanced code that was written so long ago is intact and running in my mind still. and it's designed not to be noticed. so, how much more am I missing?

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